She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
