arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
