We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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