I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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