id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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