i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
