Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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