dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
