youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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