Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
