I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize