doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You're like the curious george of whores
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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