my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My hand turned me down
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
