There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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