Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
