what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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