can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
