Your dad touched me again.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
