My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
