I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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