So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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