Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
