I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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