Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
