To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the day after is always just damage control
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
