PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
