This girl is more easily done than said...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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