Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
