I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
