Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.

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(248): View more from Michigan

You're a womanizer and a bitch.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.

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(954): View more from Florida

It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket

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(240): View more from Maryland

This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.

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(254): View more from Texas

guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....

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(360): View more from Washington

Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.

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