A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
whose ass print is on the piano?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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