YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
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He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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