Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
