Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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