good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
