i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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