It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My vagina is officially offended.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
