I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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