16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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