I'm jealous of your bromance
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
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Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
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The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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