I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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