im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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