she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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