this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
