Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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