i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
In America we eat man semen.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
