i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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