something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
