Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The air taste purple.
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