Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
