Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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