You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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