well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
