the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
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He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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