So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
