grandma shit on top of the toilet
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
