Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
