I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
